Key Verse: “Fathers, don’t stir up anger in your children, but bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:4 CSB)
In my experience, one of the greatest privileges I have is being a father to my children. At the same time though, it is also one of the greatest challenges. Whether you are a parent, a grandparent, a future parent or a spiritual parent, God has called each one of us to apply the gospel of Jesus into all of our family relationships and to invest as a community into the next generation that already surrounds us.
What exactly does that look like? What does it means to be purposeful in applying kingdom principles in the context of our families? In Ephesians 6:4, the Apostle Paul speaks directly to “fathers.” Keep in mind, however, that in the first century, Paul would have been speaking to people who lived in a very patriarchal society, in which it was all about a father’s authority and leadership. But in our context, it’s appropriate to apply these instructions to mothers as well.
Paul begins by telling parents what not to do. “Fathers, do not stir up anger in your children,” he wrote. Don’t treat your children harshly or brutally. Don’t lead with authoritarianism. Stop pouring gasoline on the fire. Rather, ensure that your children see and hear that they are deeply and unconditionally loved. Model your love for them after the love you have experienced from your Heavenly Father and the love that you see through Jesus Christ. Lead your children with love.
Paul also reminds parents of their ultimate responsibility with their children. “Bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord,” he told them. The goal of Christian parenting is not primarily about a child’s happiness, health, educational pursuits or future career choices, as important as each of these things are. What ultimately matters is where the child stands with Jesus. Do they know Jesus? Are they following Him? The Apostle John wrote, “I have no greater joy than this: to hear that my children are walking in truth” (3 John 4).
With that goal in mind, parents are called to be intentional about bringing their children up in the “training and instruction of the Lord”. Like a master craftsmen training an apprentice, parents are called to teach their children who God is – His unchanging character, power, love, holiness, grace and all of His promises. Children need to learn and understand the gospel and all that Jesus Christ has accomplished. They need to know and see what godly living looks like. This is all a huge part of what it means to train children in the ways of the Lord.
Ultimately to be purposeful as parents means pointing children to Jesus. “Him we proclaim,” Paul declared, “warning everyone and teaching everyone with all wisdom, that we may present everyone mature in Christ” (Colossians 1:28). Through both words and action, the job of a spiritual parent is to exalt Jesus above all else so that the children around us have the opportunity to see and respond to Him.
Prayer: God, I pray today the words of Psalm 78:4: “We will not hide them from our children, but will tell a future generation the praiseworthy acts of the Lord, his might, and the wondrous works he has performed.” As I engage in your kingdom mission, help me to be purposeful in investing in the next generation around me. All for your glory, I pray. Amen.
Author: Jonathan Miller has served in pastoral roles for more than 13 years in churches in Barrie, Oakville and Burlington, Ontario. He currently serves as the Chief Operating Officer at Prison Fellowship Canada, a ministry that mobilizes and equips local churches to engage in the restorative work of prisoners, ex-prisoners, their families, and victims across Canada. Jon holds degrees from McMaster University and Trinity Evangelical Divinity School. He and his wife Adrienne have been married since 2004, and live in Burlington, Ontario with their 4 children. Jon’s greatest passion is to know Jesus and to see lives transformed by Him and for Him.
